Yep, I hate being the person I am! Hate being depressed, hate being a worry wart, I just wish I could take everything in my stride and not let anything bother me. I wish nothing ever phased me and I could take things with a grain of salt, but no, I have to stew over things and let them worry me sick. I wish I could just be relaxed when either one of the kids is sick, but no, I have to let it get to me and make me upset.
Paige had the runs again today, although within herself, she is happy and playing and eating and drinking, but by this arvo she was NQR (not quite right) I think it was a combo of her having a sore bum, and being tired as she didnt sleep today, and it was upsetting me seeing her that way. I know that its normal for kids to be sick, everyone gets sick, but I dont know, when Paige gets sick I start freaking out, start worrying and I start to cry. Its not normal. I dont know if its because of the depression or its something else, anxiety perhaps?
Im going to speak to my GP when he gets back from holidays to see if he can refer me to a counsellor, I need to talk to someone about this as its consuming me. I worry if she doesnt eat, I worry if she gets sick, I just worry about her. ALL. THE. TIME. I have to stop this, I cant keep wrapping her up in cotton wool. Bloody hell, I wish I could stop this. Sometimes I wish I was an Ostrich, so I can bury my head in the sand and be oblivious to everthing.
4 comments:
Oh sweetie, you're just being a good mama, so don't beat yourself up too much about it.
It is always good to talk about it though when it gets the better of you. Hope you're feeling better soon, and Paige recovers from her bug quickly.
Hugs!
Charli xoxox
I hope Paige feels better soon.
I think it would be totally natural to feel really worried when Paige got sick. I think if I had a child with SN I would be exactly the same as you.
Like Charli said you are just being a good Mummy.
Aww, Miss D, wish I could give you a big ol' bear hug right now! I agree with the other ladies here, you're just being a good mom, and I'm sure Paige will get over the runs very soon. I also think it couldh't hurt to ask your doctor to refer a counselor. Discussing all your concerns with a neutral person could help you sort everything out and put your worries in perspective.
Feel better, darling friend. I'm always in your corner.
xoxo
Ditto to what everyone has said Danni. Talking to a doctor about your feelings is something I would highly recommend. If they are a good doctor they will be able to help you, I know, been there! Good luck sweetie.
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