Picking Myself Up.

Well, Im feeling a whole lot better today, and want to say thankyou to my wonderful friends (you know who you are) for their reassuring comments and lovely words.  I feel so alone some times, I dont have many friends, the friends I made at playgroup I hardly ever see or keep in contact with.  Im fed up of always being the one who calls.  I see one of them when I go to the gym but we are hardly close.  I feel my real friends are the ones Ive made on line.  Some of them Ive met in person, some I havent but I feel like Ive known the ones I havent met forever.

Im seeing the MCHN tomorrow for Summer's weigh and measure so I might enquire about a Depression support group, I really feel I need to connect with others who are going thru the same thing as me.  No one in my former playgroup suffered from depression that I know of, they seemed to have the perfect life with their perfect children.  I always felt the odd one out, the one who had the not-so-perfect child, the one who was depressed.  Of course having a child, the child who is my first born, born with a disability and being depressed goes hand in hand, none of those other women knew what it was like, and they still dont know what its like, to have a special needs child, to be depressed.

It was okay for all of them, their kids did everything when they were supposed to, and poor Paige was always lagging behind.  We have met up on occasions since we stopped meeting on a weekly basis.  One of them had moved interstate and she came down to Victoria to visit family and we all met up at the park near my place, but they dont think of anyone but themselves.  Paige is still not able to climb up onto play equipment, which means I cant sit down and enjoy myself and talk with everyone else.  I have to keep an eagle eye on her all the time in case she hurts herself, and last time she did, she fell off of some play equipment and ended up with a huge bruise on her head and a black eye.

When I went to Mytime I felt I had connected with people who were in a similar situation to me as they had children with Down Syndrome so they knew how I felt.  Unfortunately we dont go to that anymore either as it conflicts with other things going on, but if I have time I may go one of these days just to reconnect with the mums I met.  I met some lovely people.  I wish I had some close friends that lived close by, but they all live far away in other cities/states/countries.

Anyway, I went to the gym and did combat this morning so I let out a lot of tension and stress which felt good.  I always love doing combat when Im not feeling very happy, I always feel empowered and refreshed after I do a workout.  I think Im going to try Yogalates one of these days to relieve the tension Ive been feeling in my neck and shoulders, I thought it was my pillow but I think its all stress related, and Ive had plenty of that lately, what with my Biatch SIL and Rob defending her like she is a saint, but I dont want to waste precious blog space chatting about her so I may leave it here.  Ive probably lost you already, if youre still reading, thanks!