Well, you all know that Ive been on anti depressants, but about 2 weeks ago I decided to stop taking them cold turkey...not a very good idea on my part and I became quite anxious and depressed again. I mentioned that the mothers group I am part of is continuing as a playgroup and I get along well with all the mums there, but there are a few that are a bit cliquey because they are best friends and grew up in the area. As soon as these two walked in I just *knew* that they were cliquey. I didnt really care but when I came off the anti d's it really affected me because these two women, one of them in particular, barely acknowledges Paige, its like she is invisible. While everyone on Wednesday asked me how Paige's proceedure went, this particular one didnt even bloody ask, which didnt surprise me, but it still hurt.
I went to see the health nurse to get Paige weighed and measured, she knew that I wasnt very happy and I just burst into tears. I told her how I felt and that I had thoughts of not returning to that playgroup, but she encouraged me to keep going and also mentioned that narrow minded, cliquey people are everywhere and I will not escape that...and she is right I guess. I also told her that I keep comparing Paige to the other kids, that theyre doing things she should be doing at her age. I have very high hopes for Paige obviously but I have to snap myself out of this because its not going to help me. Ive decided to go back to counselling because I feel I cant cope again. Ive gone back onto the anti d's and am feeling better, but still there are times when I just dont want to be part of that playgroup anymore. But I thought to myself not to give them the satisfaction and leave, but to keep on going...they will not drive me out!
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